As a college student, the first in-person introduction you get to networking is job fairs- with all the sparkles and blazé that carries. Everyone is lined up outside the college performance hall. Dressed in their Sunday best, fresh portfolios in hand. This is it. They could land a mentor in the next hour or two, even a job!
Euugh.
To me, networking has always felt icky, like I'm a salesman, selling my wares. But the only wares I have are me.
I walk in as a potential cog to add to some corporate machine. I show off my shiny new education, glazed with sparkly customer service experience. What about the me on the other side of a plastic portfolio I just made yesterday during my seminar class? What about the person behind me in line? The recruiter?
The inauthentic feeling of networking made me feel grimy-like I've done something horribly wrong. I’ve never wanted to use others for my own gain, and I’m sure a lot of people feel the same.
I hated it, and ultimately it’s what turned me away from my major in HR.
So, if I hate networking, why would it be my first post?
Simple, ✨enlightenment✨.
I’m no Buddha. I didn’t get a concussion from a free-falling apple like Newton. It came from a book! I’ve dived into a rabbit hole of nonfiction lately, and I picked a few books randomly in my local library.
One of those books was Social Chemistry by Marissa King, and it’s slowly changing my perspective on networking.
King argues that networking is as natural as breathing for us. She lays out three types of networkers: conveners, brokers, and expansionists.
Now color me cautious, but I’m always open to new ideas, so I was in! Plus it was like a 360 page Buzzfeed quiz for me, what could my networking style be?
What are these different networking types?
Conveners, brokers, and expansionists refer to the types of network structures a person can have. Everyone has an instinctive preference for one of them!
Running from left to right we’ll begin with expansionists.
Expansionists
“Helping others is the easiest way to help yourself.” - Shep Gordon
Everyone has that one friend who seems to knows everyone. When you walk with them you can hear people shouting their name across the sidewalk. Someone comes up and does a special bro handshake with them, and you just wonder: How in the world did they know so many people?
Expansionists are connectors. They find strength in establishing connections with others.
On average, each person knows about 600 others. Expansionists far exceed that, some super connectors growing their networks to 6,000! Their superpower is knowing many more people than the average person, creating relationships in broad and diverse areas.
They're exceptionally good at reading others.
Expansionists are gifted at reading body movements and flowing through the rhythms of conversation. They're known to do well in meeting and office environments. They are good negotiators and even better interviewers.
They're the embodiment of Mr. Nice Guy- they're generous.
Expansionists understand the power of generosity-they're givers. And not the kind of givers that you can walk all over. They self-preserve and give equally. One great example of this is Shep Gordon, a talent manager in the entertainment industry who worked with the greats like Blondie, Kenny Loggins, and Pink Floyd.
Gordon lived by the golden rule, he treated others as he wanted to be treated and genuinely wanted to help people get ahead. However, “[He] tries to do something helpful for someone each day. He doesn't try to help everyone, everyday”.
Givers who wield self-preservation are more likely to be financially and socially successful as well!
They're social system engineers.
If it wasn't established already, expansionists know a lot of people- they are the extrovert of the network types. But as they make connections how do they keep up? Each new relationship comes with obligations, wether you are in the role of an acquaintance or friend.
Expansionists create complex systems to manage their friendships. Like John D. Rockefeller, a super connector who used a rockin’ roldex to record his conversations with friends and colleagues. Although it can seem a little odd, recording his conversations allows him to recollect more of the personal information they talked about and follow-up on it.
Imagine one of your close friends remembering what you wanted for your birthday from a conversation months ago, wouldn't that make you feel special?
Brokers
“Everyone you'll ever meet know something you don't.” - Bill Nye
Brokers stand in the middle of groups of people, connecting them, like a colleague in finance who gets along really well with the folks in HR and legal. Since they are friends with both departments that colleague is the go-between for two very different groups: a broker.
Brokers are the INFJ of the network types-its the most rare. Think of your friends. Do your friends know each other? Are they also friends? For most it's true, we tend to run in the same circles as our friends. We have the same interests, similar jobs, and live in the same areas. Brokers pop those social-similar bubbles by being friends with different groups, but that familiarity affect is what causes brokers to make up a small percentage of people.
Brokers are innovators and adaptors.
Brokers build bridges
Since brokers sit on an island between two or more different groups, they are exposed to a variety of ideas. A spectrum of ideas give them a unique opportunity to build a new concept or product out of those diverse ideas.
So many inventions have been created by bringing people from different fields together. It's like creating a new bomb hit flavor combo! A recent invention like Nutella fits the bill too, created through accidentally throwing together chocolate and peanut butter.
Brokers are informants
The flow of information between groups is like a summer camp game of telephone except only one person can change the meaning of the first group's words- the broker.
By being on the edge of two+ different groups, they have access to loads of info they otherwise wouldn't be privy to.
You might often see this especially in a professional setting. A manager might be giving you information on behalf of the higher-ups, or Mary might have heard something from her friends in accounting that affects your project. Controlling information gives them power. Whether they wield that power maliciously or altruistically to get ahead is up to them and their ethics.
Brokers are social chameleons
How else can they be friends with so many different groups? They can fit in everywhere because brokers are high-self monitors: they are very aware of the image they project out to others. They are aware of different roles and rules in different social situations and adapt to their environment based on them.
Brokers make great salesmen. As they adapt to new environments they also adapt what they say and how they say it.
Like take Barrack Obama for example.
In politics you have to talk and connect with a variety of audiences from high-end fundraisers to local HOAs. Obama could go from adopting a professional air at a fundraiser in DC to adopting a southern drawl on a basketball court in Mississippi.
Conveners
“A faithful friend loves til the end” - Unknown
If I had to guess, I bet conveners are the most common type of networkers- and common isn't a bad thing.
Convener’s network is characterized by strong redundant ties. I imagine conveners as someone in the thick of an exclusive friend group or the member of a country club- everyone they are friends with, are friends with each other.
Close-knit friendships are their secret weapon.
Long-term cultivated friendships breed trust. Trust is an important thing in a relationship. We need trust to feel secure in a friendship, and, where there is trust, there is information.
Unlike the broker, whose information is built off of building connections between different groups, conveners are more likely to be on the receiving end of complex information:
The In-Depth Insider Scoop: In a tight-knit friend group where trust creates a secure, comfortable environment, gossip and sensitive information flows freely.
The Willing Teacher: In the office when a convener doesn't know a skill, a cohesive tie will happily teach them. I mean if your best work friend wanted to learn something why wouldn't you teach them?
This can act as a competitive advantage in the workplace. A coworker who is a friend is more likely to spend more time teaching you a skill than they would a weak tie or a stranger. A new well-executed skill added to your repertoire can be a game-changer!
The Takeaway
When I started college networking was a small pea-sized transactional necessity I wanted no part of- but there's so much more to it.
Networking is as unconscious part of our daily lives. Whether a expansionist, convener, broker, we all have our own strengths that change as we advance in our lives and careers. Our network type is like our personality: it changes as you change.
Perhaps, it's worth diving deeper into. Take some time to explore the universe of networking and tap into it.
How can I apply what I just read?
Yes! Yes! This is the moment I was waiting for :D
What I wrote in this newsletter is the tip of the iceberg, to break into the full iceberg read Social Chemistry by Marissa King- the inspiration for this post! She gives strong examples of each type of network and the different psychological affects that prove these network phenomenons.
It's definitely a book worth getting your highlighters out for! Sit down, kick up your feet, and read!
What's your networking style?
I’m a broker! I was able to find this out through a 15-minute quiz on Marissa King's website. You need to make an account but it is helpful! You can wield your network when your more aware of it.
Not to happy with your network style? That's ok!
There are a few things you can do to help change your networking style to best fit you.
For wannabe expansionists…
Give a minute, or an hour: Set aside time to help someone each day, weather that's a friend, a family member or a stranger.
Go out into the big wide world: Go to a restaurant, park, a new club and go out and meet new people-even if it's out of your comfort zone.
For my aspiring brokers…
The self-monitor spectrum: Most brokers are high self-monitors, so they are very self-concsious of their image. First, check-out if your a high self-monitor!
Go out and connect: Like our wannabe expansionists, go out and meet new people that are different from you! Connect with an old school friend, meet up with someone in a completely different career path. Be curious. Explore new interests!
For the dreaming conveners…
Focus on building your current friendships: In each friendship you have a role to play, and to build that friendship you need to connect and spend time with that friend. Try taking even just 5 minutes out of your day to text your friends or call one of them!
Substack Newsletters that Focus on Networking
If you're interested in more about networking, there are a few creators dedicated to sharing their experience and research into networking. Here's a few I reccommend checking out!
Networking4Greatness by Cathy Paper is all about the power of networking and how she has utilized it in her daily and professional life. She is a frequent poster, always sharing how to make new connections! She also runs an amazing podcast you can access through Substack. She interviews with others about productivity and their ventures into networking.
A Good Omen by Carly Valancy takes a more personal route to networking. I think we have all heard the saying “It's more about who you know, not what you know”. Carly explores those personal and natural connections and how you can make more. She also hosts sporadic networking workshops for her paid subscribers!
Thanks for reading my launch post everyone! I'll be posting on Tuesdays at 9:30 EST and shorter Sunday Spotlight's at 9:30 EST twice a month.
This newsletter means a lot to me and I want to grow a community here where we can all help each other. Please comment with any suggestions, critiques, or you just like the post! It helps me improve :)
Until Next Teatime,
Kate
BRO THIS SO INTERESTING! I want to make a video in my lenguaje “Spanish” (I make videos sometimes on Instagram) and try to share this ideas like this one with others. You did a great job writing this as your first post! Love it.
Dude this is seriously good for a first publication! love the read, keep it up!